Standing Outside the Fire Read online

  “Your daddy’ll get over it too.”

  “Where should we go?” She switched topics fast.

  “If we’re getting out of town for a few days, I need to let the chief know. Wes can tell everyone else.”

  “Jamie,” she laid her hand on top of his on the steering wheel. It took everything he had not to immediately wish he could hear her groan out his name as he forced climax after climax from her. “Thank you for always running away with me.”

  He turned to stare into the endless green fields of her eyes. “That’s my job, carrot top.”

  She rolled her eyes. He was the only person she’d let get away with calling her that. He used it sparingly, relishing that he owned that single small part of her when no one else did. The thing was that her hair didn’t look like carrots. It looked like flames. So, the part of her she allowed him wasn’t real. He hated that.

  Fishing his phone from his pocket, he pressed the station number from his favorites list. “Holder County Fire Station. You’re talking to Yeager.” Jared Yeager, a relatively new guy on the team, answered.

  “Hey, man, is Chief Riggins around?”

  “Yeah, hang on. Wait, aren’t you supposed to be at that wedding?”

  “Had a change of plans.”

  “Oh..kay, here’s Chief. It’s Holder,” Jamie heard Jared inform him.

  “Holder? Aren’t you at Charlotte Tilson’s wedding?”

  “Not exactly. Listen, about all that vacation I’ve got saved up—I need to take some of it now.”

  The chief chuckled. Jamie wondered what that was about, but he knew better than to ask. “Tell me something, son, is Charlie with you right now instead of standing down at that altar?”

  “Uh, yeah. She is.”

  “I see. Well, you take your vacation. We’ll try to get by without you. If I can take a liberty here, can I just say don’t fuck this up. For chrissakes it’s about damn time. Better late than never I s’pose.”

  Okay, was everyone in Holder County reading from the same script or something? This was ridiculous. Jamie rolled his eyes. “I’ll let you know when I get back.”

  “I’d appreciate that. Does your daddy know you left with her?”

  “I figure he will in another few minutes.”

  “Can’t wait to hear Barrett’s take on this. If you’re looking to get out of town, you might want to take 75 instead of 412. There’s a pile-up on 412. It’s a mess, so I hear.”

  Jamie cringed at that. “Anybody hurt?”

  “Nothing major. They’ll all recover.”

  “We’ll head north then. Talk to you later.”

  “I’m sorry for making you use your vacation days,” Charlie lamented when he ended the call.

  “Stop it. I’ve just been letting them build up forever. I need a break. Spending time with you is all I ever want to do anyway. Chief says 412 is a no-go for a while. Where do you want to go? I could take you back to the ranch.”

  “No,” she was suddenly adamant. “I want to get out of Holder County. Out of Oklahoma. Out of…everywhere. I don’t want anyone to know where I am except for you. I need to…breathe.”

  Jamie considered that. So, she thought Ed was smothering her too. Good, they agreed on that already. “How ‘bout our chalet in Telluride? Mountain air’s good for breathing.”

  “No. As soon as everyone knows I left with you, that’s the first place they’ll look. But I do wish I knew somewhere to go that wouldn’t require me using a credit card for hotel rooms. Ed set it up so he gets alerts on all of my purchases.” She rolled her eyes.

  Jamie gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles were white. “Don’t you make a shit ton more money than preacher man?” leapt from his mouth without his permission.

  She grinned. “I didn’t know you didn’t like Ed,” she commented.

  “I guess you do now.” He’d never seen any point in not fessing up when she had him dead to rights.

  But then she did something that she’d never done before. She leaned over the console of his Ford and brushed a kiss on his cheek. “I’m not sure I ever liked him either. He just seemed like the next thing I was supposed to do.” Jamie swallowed down raw hunger. It burned down his chest and threatened to ignite in his gut. He had to get a grip. This was him and Charlie. There was too much at stake to do something stupid, especially when she was in a bad place.

  Rescuing people, when they were having what would likely be the worst day of their whole life, was who he was. Running out on her wedding sure as hell wouldn’t even make the top five of the worst days of Charlie’s life, but saving her was his drug. Making her smile, listening to her dreams, just being in the same room with her—those were the driving forces in his life. Nothing else even mattered. If he got to just hang out with her for the next week or so it’d still qualify as the greatest week of his whole life, even if they were in separate beds. Which they would be. Because that’s how they worked.

  But thoughts of Ed being on her list of things to do made Jamie want to kill him again. “I doubt you’re wanting to camp out down on the low creek on the ranch like we did whenever we ran away when we were kids, so where are we heading for this impromptu vacation?”

  “I have no idea.”

  “How ‘bout I pay for the hotel room,” he amended her plural version of the word though he wasn’t certain why he’d done that.

  “No. I cannot let you bail me out of this. That’s too much. I’ll take care of everything.”

  Jamie considered. As sweet as she was most of the time, when she was of a mind to do something, she’d dig her heels in. He suspected she was going to hold fast to not letting him pay for stuff on this trip. He’d have to deal with that later. “How far away are you wanting to get?” That would at least give him a direction.

  “I don’t know. Is out of the country an option? Australia maybe? I saw this documentary on people living off the grid down there. No internet. Not even a telephone. That sounds perfect.”

  “My truck’ll go over a lot of things, but the ocean ain’t one of ‘em. Plus, if you’re wanting to hang in the outback, I’m going to need to go back for some gear. ‘Bout the time you lock eyes on some of the critters they have down there, you’ll be demanding that I get after them with my ax.”

  She grinned at that. “I wish either one of us had family away from Holder County. Somewhere we could just hide out for a little while and not think. The farther away the better.”

  “I do have family not in Holder County,” Jamie offered.

  “You have family that doesn’t live in the county named after them?” Skepticism rode hard in her tone, but then her eyes lit like sparklers. “Colt! Oh my gravy, I wasn’t even thinking.”

  Grinning at her cute phrase to avoid using the Lord’s name, he nodded. “Yeah, Colt. I bet he and Avery would be okay with us staying up at their place for a while. Nebraska ain’t Australia, but Camden Ranch is pretty damn remote. Nothing up there but cows and corn. If you toss your phone out the window, you’d be off the grid.”

  “Don’t tempt me.”

  “I’ll help him out on the ranch in exchange for room and board. Does that work for you?”

  “I’ll help too. That way we aren’t putting anyone out.”

  Chapter Four

  Jamie touched his cousin’s name from his contact list.

  Colt answered on the first ring. “And here I was thinking I was gonna have to drive my ass down to Oklahoma and remind you that I still exist. How the hell are you?”

  “Sorry I haven’t called in a while. Been a little busy. I’m good. How’re you?” Instead of Colt answering, there was a heartbreaking wail of what sounded like a newborn baby.

  Colt sighed. “‘Bout like that. He’s got his days and nights confused. Avery and I are beat. She keeps trying to wake him up to feed him more during the day, but he ain’t real fond of that idea.”

  “He sounds like his daddy. You were the one who preferred to go out and party all night and then show up hungover
trying to saddle a horse the next morning,” Jamie reminded him of the good old days. Not that he was one to talk since his head was still throbbing and the sunlight pouring through the windshield was excruciating.

  “Yeah, well, that was a long time ago. I’d rather be tired ‘cause of one of my youngins than ‘cause I was being a dumbass. How are you?”

  “I’m all right. I was gonna ask a favor, but it sounds like you’ve got your hands full.”

  “Nah, you kidding me? Ask. I don’t plan on stopping making babies for as long as Avery’s on board, so that ain’t a good excuse not to do something for you.”

  Chuckling at that, Jamie considered. “I don’t know, man. Charlie and I need a place to stay for a few days. Need to get out of Holder County, but…”

  “Charlie Tilson?” Colt’s tone took on that same knowing timbre that Wes’s had.

  “Yeah, you remember her, right?”

  “Jamie, you were practically her shadow for years. I remember her. For a while I figured it’d make more sense for Aunt Sara to just adopt her. That way she wouldn’t have to keep running away to the ranch when her daddy tried to lay down the law. But why are you needing to get out of town?”

  Jamie glanced at his passenger who was studying him intently. “Uh, well…” he lifted his eyebrows to Charlie in question. “Can I tell him?”

  “Of course.” She squeezed her eyes shut like that might also close off her ears.

  “Well what?” Colt had never been known for his patience. Jamie was glad some things hadn’t changed.

  “She was kinda supposed to get married this morning and she decided that wasn’t what she wanted after all. We were thinking we’d get out of town ’til the…”

  “Parishioners with pitchforks find something else to talk about?”

  “Pretty much.”

  “So, let me get this straight. Charlie Tilson was to marry someone who wasn’t you, but she up and ran away with you.”

  “Yeah.”

  “What’d her daddy say?”

  “Haven’t heard from him yet.”

  “What’d Uncle Barrett say?”

  “You’re the only person I’ve talked to.”

  “All right then, come on up. You don’t want to stay here with me, though. You won’t get any sleep. I’ll talk to Brock. We got a little cottage kind of thing down by the entrance gates. We’ve been fixing it up. Y’all can stay there as long as you want. Only got one bedroom though.” That was a test if Jamie had ever heard one.

  “I’ll sleep on the couch,” he supplied.

  Charlie shook her head. “No, I will,” she corrected him. He rolled his eyes at her.

  But Colt was laughing. “Uh huh, I’ll let you two work that out. Can I just give you some unsolicited advice before you head this way?”

  Jamie spoke before he thought. “Let me guess, don’t fuck this up and it’s about damn time?”

  “Exactly. Now try actually letting that advice get through your stubborn head. It’s the first house after you drive under the Camden Ranch sign. You can’t miss it. It’s off to the left. I’ll meet you down there. Will you be here by supper, you think?”

  “Not sure we’ll make it much before dark. Got a lot of drive ahead of us.”

  “We have to stop for clothes,” Charlie reminded him.

  “And apparently we’re stopping to shop.”

  “Women,” Colt teased. “But if she’s still wearing a white gown, I guess we have to give her that.”

  “She is. Thanks for letting us stay up there. We’ll see you tonight.” Jamie ended the call and sincerely wished his family and his chief would stay the hell out of his head. He’d spent the second half of his life trying, and obviously failing, at keeping anyone from knowing that he wanted Charlie to be his. He was fairly certain Charlie didn’t know, though, and that was all that mattered.

  “I still cannot believe you and Wes saw me like that,” she whimpered. “I’m so embarrassed.”

  He had absolutely no idea how to respond to that. God, the image of her in deliciously innocent white lace panties. He was still sporting a semi and that was with a headache. But the desperation to save her was always his only goal. “Don’t worry about it. I made Wes look the other way while I got you down, and your ass is gorgeous so nothing to be embarrassed about.” Okay, well, that was several dozen steps too far. She always took down his guards. She was the only person he’d ever really been real with.

  She laughed and shook her head. “Thank you for making Wes look away, and my ass is even more pale than the rest of me and hasn’t seen the inside of a gym since we took it together in ninth grade, so I know you’re lying.”

  Sexiest ass I’ve ever seen. Made me think how fucking good it would look with my cock buried deep in that tight little rosebud between those lush cheeks. He sank his teeth into his tongue to keep from informing her of that. “I ain’t lying. Are you hungry? There’s a little diner just inside the Kansas line.” Changing topics was the only safe way out of this.

  “I am kinda starving. I couldn’t eat anything yesterday, and I only got down a few crackers this morning. Every time I thought about the wedding, I got sick to my stomach.”

  “You still thinking you shouldn’t have run?”

  “I thought it was just nerves.”

  “It was your good sense trying to get you where you needed to be.”

  “You’re right.” Charlie knew he was. Only, if that were true, did that mean that where she was supposed to be was with him? Of course it did. He was her favorite person in the whole world. But…there was something different about him or maybe it was something she’d ignored before.

  There was a hunger in his tone, maybe. Or maybe she was just imagining that or wanting it to be so. She reminded herself of all the many reasons why a relationship with Jamie Holder would never be for her. She couldn’t stand it when he was at work, and it would only be a million times worse for her every single time he left the house if they were anything more than best friends. There was a difference in loving someone and being in love with someone. And she had to remember where that line was and respect it.

  Louann’s advice wasn’t for her. She could never marry her best friend. Not happening. Jamie wouldn’t be interested in her anyway. She couldn’t even stand the thought of being undressed with anyone and, well, he was Jamie-freaking-Holder. The Holder boys all had a well-earned reputation. Every woman in Holder County, save her, had uttered or at least thought the phrase—save a horse, ride a Holder. According to town legend, they always exceeded their reputation.

  Besides, she was probably just making all of it up in her head anyway. That husky, lusty tone she swore she heard in his voice wasn’t really there. She was starving and obviously having a completely insane day. She was off-kilter. That was it. Food would help. “A diner anywhere sounds great, but I don’t want to traipse around in this stupid gown any longer than I have to, so after food we need clothes.” Instinctively she turned around to check out the back window again. For some reason she couldn’t shake the feeling that someone would be chasing her, trying to tie her down again.

  She hated to stop at all but Jamie didn’t look like he felt all that great, and she didn’t want him getting sick, especially since he was being so great about her completely disrupting his life.

  Jamie was always great. No matter what crazy idea she came up with next, he just always made it happen, no questions asked.

  “Thanks again for doing this. You’re the best,” she vowed.

  That earned her a full-fledged Jamie Holder cocky grin. It was her favorite and he didn’t show them off very often. “I know I am,” he assured her with a wink. “This gets me out of at least the next dozen times you want me to watch one of those girlie movies you love. How to Run Off a Loser in Ten Easy Steps or Hootie and the Smallmouth Bass’s Long-Ass Record or whatever it is.

  Laughter erupted from deep in Charlie’s belly. “It’s ten days, and I think you’re talking about Nick and Norah’s Infin
ite Playlist, goofball.”

  “Infinite being the operative word in that title. Woulda been better if there’d been fishing.”

  “All right, fine, you get to pick the movies for the next dozen times, and now that Ed is no longer my problem I can totally watch movies with you again.” She hadn’t exactly meant to admit that out loud because she hadn’t exactly told Jamie that Ed had repeatedly requested that she not hang out with him anymore. Her plan had been to ignore his request the same way she’d completely ignored her father’s order to stay away from Jamie when she was younger.

  Every single time her father had out-and-out demanded that she never go to the ranch again, she’d sneak out, ride her bike all the way to Jamie’s parents’ house, and talk him into running away with her. They almost always camped down near the low creek on Holder Ranch.

  They’d leave word with Mrs. Holder to please tell her daddy that she’d think about coming home if he promised she could go to Jamie’s house whenever she wanted. She always suspected that Jamie’s parents knew where they’d gone, but they hadn’t told her father, not that he could’ve navigated the ranch even with directions. His parents had let them stay out there several times. Eventually, Barrett Holder would come out and negotiate a peace treaty between Charlie and her daddy. For the next month, her father would preach on children respecting and obeying their parents and the wisdom of the elders. She didn’t care. Just then, she had to admit that running away wasn’t completely new for her.

  “Ed had something to say about you watching movies with me?” Jamie spat the words like they were laced with venom.

  “Kind of.”

  Jamie shook his head and visibly locked his jaw. Charlie wondered what he was keeping behind those perfect teeth of his.

  “I would never have listened to him. You know that. People have been warning me off about hanging out with you since we moved to Holder County. In case you’re just now figuring this out, twenty-some-odd years later, I don’t really take kindly to people telling me who I can be friends with.”